The First Challenge
Without a doubt these last months have been extremely challenging to all of us as a society and on a deep personal level. From the rise in hate, the attempts at oppression and manipulation, stay-at-home-orders, job loss, isolation and loneliness and loss of our loved ones - all beyond our control - has shaken us all to our foundation.
The number one topic asked about by nearly all of my clients during the first days of the pandemic up until the present is "love". Asking what might be on the horizon for their love lives, they pose this question with an awkward hesitation as if this is so silly and self-centered during a time when so much is at stake. It's not silly or frivolous to want to feel safe, to want to have someone to support us emotionally as we move through the unknown. It's perfectly natural to seek safety in the folds of love and friendship, to find strength in partnership. Knowing we have someone on our side as we make our way to adapting and adjusting during these tumultuous changes can make all the difference in the world. We now want a deeper, more profound sense of love and partnership.
Love and Emotional Growth
Early on in this pandemic the answers often pointed to healing, understanding, forgiveness and unconditional love. The surprise was that it wasn't forgiveness for others. They weren't telling us to forgive "them" or to turn the other cheek, or find compassion for others. It was directed toward SELF forgiveness, healing our own wounds and beginning the movement towards unconditional love for all. And that unconditional love begins with ourselves.
Our inner journeys were pointing us in the direction of shedding old concepts and ways of seeing ourselves. No longer did we want to continue to take responsibility for how others may have behaved - when we thought it was our fault they treated us so horribly. We felt encouraged to dump the garbage we had been carrying for so long. This garbage we stored up - we put it there by accepting it! Go deep and heal - either starting with traditional therapy or spiritual healers, meditation, ancestral work - go deep and heal was the message.
They urged us to express the ways we feel we were ripped off. Write down the anger we still feel for situations that happened long ago or even just this last year. Write it, speak it, paint it, sculpt it and then release it. Either through tearing, burning, scattering or flushing those feelings away. RELEASE.
Start From the Bottom Up
Once we've broken down the attitudes and released the junk that held us down, next step is to rebuild ourselves from the bottom up. Find qualities or traits that you do like about yourself. Add to it. See the traits that you would like to change - again express it!
We then began to recognize and embrace the totality of who we are. Embrace the good and the bad and begin to show others how we want to be treated by treating ourselves with love and respect. By showing others that we believe ourselves to be worthy of love, kindness, attention; others either rise to our level of expectation or they wobble away! I loved the image they showed me to describe this. They showed me a sign by an amusement park ride with a big bold line on it and it read "You have to be this high to go on this ride".
We needed to start this journey of unconditional love for ourselves before we can really be able to connect with these partners/loves we crave. Before we can begin to heal the world at large. We have to do this before we could be in loving relationships in the profound way we were asking. We could not be looking to our partners to be our sole source of good feelings. We are not to be dependent on another to find our self worth!
As we dumped the garbage, recognized and began to embrace the totality of who we are, we started to see another change. Separations. Friendships change as we begin to set new boundaries. We were telling the friend who would call to complain about their relationships without ever once asking how we are, that we didn't have time to talk. We were now limiting the time we spend (even if it was just on the phone during lockdown) with those whose negativity just drained us and they were striking out at us. Many fell away.
Surrendering to the Loss to Gain Fulfillment
It left so many with a sense of loss, and here then another turning point. We either embraced the changes and went with the deeper healing as we alone are responsible for our happiness; or got mad and resisted grappling with our weaknesses and pain. We resisted letting go by either returning to those toxic connections or just stayed in that frustrated state refusing to let go or go back. Those who resisted are having a tougher time of it.
Those who surrendered to the process are now coming into a lightness of being. Some are following those inspiring thoughts to embrace change and live as though their happiness matters! One client took her savings enrolled in school to follow her long held dream of being an esthetician (we actually saw that this was the first step for her and she will actually go on to being a surgical nurse for cosmetic surgery!) Another picked up and moved to another country she always wanted to experience life in. Others told me they left the toxic relationships, setting real boundaries and are finding ways to make new connections. Another undertook a healthy lifestyle overhaul. Another focused on clearing old blocks and patterns by deepening her meditations and consciously connecting with her ancestors. They are effectively making themselves truly happy and THAT is how we raise our vibration. That is how we get tuned into what we really want in our lives. We actually start to think of it as though it is here already.
Sharing That Amazing Joy With Others
That is when I started to see in those who embraced the process are now holding light. I saw the light emanating from the heart and solar plexus. They are making new connections with friends, lovers, careers, and soul work. These new connections are people who are also embracing unconditional love for themselves. They are all coming together in small groups practicing giving and receiving love in a free, non-judgmental manner which leads to such a profound growth of empathy and healing that they are able illuminate the way to love for others. Not just on an intimate level but on a global scale.